|
|
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
|
|
|
|
im turning this one into a private journal and deleting everyone off. peace
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, October 18th, 2004
|
|
|
whats sad is that even after you dropping me like a bad habit. 4 weeks later i should be on to the next girl whos gonna do the same. nope. im still stuck on you. hoping everyday your heart is broken 100x worse then it was before. so i could fucking fix it. you think im like everyone else, i know you do. you fucked yourself not me, i did nothing. i was 100% fucking true to you. you are i mean were amazing. but you did the same thing every girl has ever done to me. broke my fucking heart. i fucking hate you because of that. yeah sure i might work at a car wash. i have no money or my own car. im fat and hairy i smell bad and i have bright yellow teef. i know im not perfect. but even with all that shit you said i was. how can you say that to me then the next day say you cant do this. do what? feel good? i really wish i could piece my heart back together. but thats your job. you broke it you fucking fix it.
and i dont give a fuck how much i meant to you. but obviously you meant more to me then you thought.
im fucking done with downriver girls. seriously fucking done. ive gone 6 months without even a kiss or a hand holding session. i can go a lot longer. 2 years 6 months without a relationship. doing horrible not grrreat! not like most girls downriver. most average a day to 2 days between each sexual encounter. or a new boyfriend for a week. fuck that shit. fuck you. i have too much shit going on inside my fucking head to deal with the depression dropped on me in the past month. its about time i give up. i always was a fan of the never give in lifestyle. dont give up to the bull shit. welp the shit is too high. i now am at "not giving a fuck" status.
fuck who i am. i dont give a fuck. im a fucking time bomb. guess what sluts.....times up.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, September 11th, 2004
|
|
|
horrifying to find out that jakes mothers boyfriend got arrested for being a murder one suspect. i heard it was on the news. i scared myself with some of the shit i said when i found out. this is just too fucked up. i dont even know what the fuck is going on. i could use someone right about now. but i wont beg. you know the number. call me.
xspeechlessxandxblankx
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
|
|
|
if i could keep my eyes open long enough. it would only be to stare at your pictures. and wonder what you could of meant to me. i hate feeling like im dwelling on something that will never happen. it just sucks to think i was so close to being something to you. and then i guess i fucked it up somehow. who would want me as a boyfriend anyway. i dont work, i have no money, no car, i smoke pot all day, i choose my friends over anything and everything. what girl would want someone who wouldnt pay attention to them when their friends were around? i hate to say it but thats just how i am. and i think im starting to realize that the next girl im with. she has to fit the circle just like i fit it. just like chris does, and the phils and rob and wilson and tackett. i think if she doesnt fit in with all of us. then she cant fit with me. bros before hoes right. whats fucked up is i have had a lot of best friends just up and dissapear for girls. but these niggas never did that to me. and i know that they are my family. and i just cant turn my back on them. no pussy in the world is good enough to make me turn my back on my family. they are my life, my support system, my life. i guess i just gotta find a girl that feels the same about her friends as i do mine. sad cuz most girls dont have a lot of girl friends. attention if you are female and have a close tight group of friends that could possibly make up the white wu tang clan if needed we should hang out.
um. call me i guess? i know you wont but its cool. just dont expect me to talk to much when i see ya. haha. wankas
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
|
|
|
nothing like the smell of flem shooting out of your mouth in the morning. fucking gross. i hate puking. seriously, i used to love it cuz it would make me feel better when i was trashed. i used to make myself puke when i was drunk. i dont understand how i can wake up and just feel the need to throwup snot. gross. i hate it.
guilty by association judged by who i know.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, August 28th, 2004
|
|
Friday, August 27th, 2004
|
|
|
|
i just wanna make you happy. thats all
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
|
|
|
i wish my background was of me and you doing that.
sadly i dont look good in girls underwear, or even whitey tighties.
i just wanna be with you, ill give you everything want.
i can feel the world getting closer to my hands.
the second i have everything i want, ill give it to you.
<3
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
|
| Time: | 3:12 pm. |
| Mood: |  i wish u were laying next 2 me. | | Music: | tsm,soty,tbs,et,aild,hg, and others. |
|
|
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yesterday chris phil and i went down to bowling green to bring lissa a bunch of shit she needed. the big box we brought was covered in duct tape. the day before me and pops decided to write all over the duct tape. for some reason we used crayola markers. needless to say the ink was all over the 4 of us. lissa had it all over her legs somehow. so we hooked up her tv, and vcr and shit. then we chilled and watched mxc. met a few of her friends. they all seemed really cool. chris kept saying "jenny and shannon fuck your own butt". i guess it was because in the opinion of the fbi (fatboysinc.) the girls down there blow the sluts hes used to seeing. ill agree that there was a lot of attractive girls down there. so who knows hopefully my friends will meet some girls down there or something. i personally am not looking for any. i already found one. and shes definatly not residing in ohio. that makes her that much cooler. it was so fucked i drove around for so long trying to find lissas friends alcohol. went to like 5 different stores. they had off brand diluted liqour. like 6 bucks a half gallon style vodka that was only 40 proof. the southern comfort in all the stores was like 35 proof. wtf! so after we went to meijer and laughed at their alcohol 1/8 of an isle. we went to get some mexican food. holla! beer was cheap so was the food. and it was on our table not even 5 minutes after we ordered it. crazy! so we left there and went back to the dorm. i walked down the street for one last shot at getting those girls liqour. i got pissed inside the store so i asked the pothead kids behind the counter why the fuck i cant find absolut or captain morgans anywhere. they have one store in all of bowling green that sells liqour. his intitial response was "the liqour at all the stores you have been to isnt real liqour." what the fuck? so i drove around by myself for like 20 minutes looking for the hidden liqour store. i found it and walked in and it was like *angels singing* and *holy music being played* i walked into heave. it was crazy. the store was just like 8 isles of liqour. now this is what im talking about. so i find the shit and its not diluted and its proper percent so im happy. i talk to the guy at the register. i tell him im from michigan and how fucked it is that theres only one store in the city that sells liqour. yeah and they close at 9. fucked up! he told me to move to penn where they dont sell beer in gas stations. i was like yeah alot of michigan counties dont sell beer in the gas stations. luckily monroe does, and im right on the border. holla! so i go back to the dorm give the girls their liqour and me and the boys leave. while driving through toledo we were listening to writers block. we were singing the secret track. so i had the idea to call lissa and sing to her. if you dont know the secret track on the et cd is them doing accoustic versions of "every rose has its thorn" , "bodies" by drowning pool and the spongebob square pants theme song. so i two way her and for like 2 minutes me chris and phil are singing the medley. she two ways me back and is like yeah i was in a floor meeting, everyone heard it and loved it. thank you chris. hahahahahahahahaha. but i didnt hear that, i was later told by mom that we were singing to like 30 college freshman girls. i get home after doing my thing at chris's. jesus it turned into 10001 questions. my parents wouldnt shut up for 2 seconds. shes doing good, im happy for her. i hope it only gets better. i had a good time and we didnt even do too much. i cant wait to go down there and go bar hopping and shit. its gonna be a good time. have to show the ohio kids how to party. i gotta finish cleaning so i can go watch oversoul practice. um call me tonite boo.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, August 23rd, 2004
|
|
|
|
walking alone never felt so boring. usually im keeping my thought process active. but for some reason im stuck on one thing. something i dont feel like getting passed. and its her. my days are filled with thoughts of what she could mean to me. what i want her to mean to me. i hate being inpatient, but for some reason im handling it well. for once i think i found someone worth waiting for. its nice. something im not normally used to. all i ask from myself is one thing. please dont fuck this up. i dont wanna lose the world before i get the chance to hold it in my arms. god with all this emo sappy day time drama talk i should come in a box marked fragile. i just wanna do one thing right. and thats that. when it does happen. if it ends. break my heart. ill take it upon myself to bear the pain, even as the salt covers the wounds. i couldnt hurt u. id take all your pain and insert into me if i could. you are too amazing for me to handle. i just wanna make u feel the way u deserve. you make me short of breathe. and i fucking love it.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, August 21st, 2004
|
| Time: | 9:01 am. |
| Mood: |  sad. | | Music: | the movielife. |
|
watching my little sister leave for school made me tear up a little. depressing. i went in her room and it was so bare and boring and just empty. it made me drop my head down a little. when u spend almost your whole life with someone. then you watch them leave you for the first time. its so fucked. im glad i didnt go down there with her and my parents. i think it would of been a lot harder for me to handle. best wishes lissa. my little sister is all grown up now. i dunno if im gonna be able to handle this too well. ill at least try to make it through this as quick as i can. im so protective of her, i just hope shes happy down there. and well if anyone fucks with her, there will be about 20 angry potheads ready to cut throats down in o hi o.
i love you lissa
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
my face is slowly starting to look like i got blasted by brass knuckles. i guess its better then when it looked like an alien layed eggs in my mustache. my head is throbbing really bad, and im too high to be serious. guess ill do one tomorrow. sorry kiddos.
boo is woo! like mad woo!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, August 20th, 2004
|
|
|
haha check it out this is the second coming of afireinsideme. ha. i figured why not make a new one. so add me
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
l0veandgr3nad3s's journal